romans 8:28 never made more sense than this morning as i contemplated how so many times the many bad decisions i make lead me to Repentance, like a child i flee back to my father . Im so easily satisfied  by worldly pleasures that i normally despise as soon as i am reminded of you and your glory.

I am a half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. – C.S. Lewis

lORD WHY MUST I PLAY IN THE PIG SLOP when you are waiting on me to come home so you can rejoice .my boy is back he will say! Lord i will never understand how you leave the 99 for the 1 but you do and for this i will praise and thank you.

Lord i thank you for all the times you didnt give me what i wanted,  for my desires are wicked without you teach me to pray like you do. i dont want to ask you for things that will hinder me from you. you work all things together for my Good bc i love you and am called according to your purpose. Lord EVERY TIME im rejected, turned down, let down, turned away, fail, its all you trying to turn me back to the mission and the christ whos life i now live in me. To live is christ and to die is gain.

Lord i wish this could be the last time i run from you but i know i gravity to worldly things so lord teach me how to fall with grace that i make quickly seek your face.

living for his glory cant wait to see the end of this story.



i was listen to who have I by steve fee and i just felt like writing some thoughts down….

I can barely breath without you

built my world and dreams around you

i cant live a day without you

you spoke into hopelessness

illuminating my darkness

He lifted me up out of the cesspool of a life i had chosen to live. He cleaned me up and and washed away all my transgressions, He freed me from addictions, He matured me into a man that wants to take care of the poor and orphans, He was my refuge in my time of need and my shield when i was under attack, He gives me the weapons i need to fight the attacks of the evil one, he is patience with me and Does not deal with me according to my iniquity , he is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and mercy, he corrects me to conform me into the image of His son. he renews my strength and gives me all of my needs. He gives me vision for the future, hope for the hopeless and He even prays for me. You have shown me the path of life in your presents is fullness of Joy at your right hand are pleasures forever.

Who am I that you would be so good to me, for against you and only you have i sinned oh sovereign Lord . I run to broken cisterns that hold no water when you offers living water that will refresh my soul. Lord i am so easily satisfied by things that will never satisfy, I choose dirty stale water over your streams of living water, I am like adam the law breaker, moses the murder, david the adulterer, rahab the harlot, i am like sodom and Gomorrah, i deserve to be crushed. Yet in your Amazing grace and forbearance of sin you pass over sins perviously commited and maintained your righteousness.

As if there was a time when someone could call into question your righteousness  for not punishing Mose the murder or david the adulterer you crushed your son as the perfect propitiation to pay a debit you did not owe that sinners could never repay. it was to make you just and the justifier of those who would have faith in christ Jesus. Oh lord what can wash away my sin? what can make me whole again? nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Lord you son was crushed in accordance to your plan and purpose not that you enjoy suffering but you are working out all things together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose, yet some deny that God would let us suffer but I was paid for by blood so i know that cant be. Lord thought the storms you have reached down to me and made me realize that being alive on this planet is not as  important as some make it out to be, neither is health, wealth, or prosperity. I know that its by your sovereign decree that you caused Katrina to destroy New orleans.  you used that horrific event to make call me into life much like a still born baby i was dead in my transgressions. you picked me up and breathed life into my soul. you choose and elected me hoping no one else would mess with me hands down your the best of me Jesus.

blessed and highly favored =)